she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
