the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
