Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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