I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
