he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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