he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize