i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He had one of those small greek statue penises
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
