okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
