Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

The bars here don't close until 4!

(703): View more from Virginia

my legs don't close until 4

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete

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(818): View more from California

Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.

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(310): View more from California

based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment

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(707): View more from California

You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast

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(303): View more from Colorado

Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I pour the whiskey from now on

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people

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