sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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