I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
