How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
