Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
