sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize