she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
