I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The convent might be a nice break from real life
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
