Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I want her autograph on my taint
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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