You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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