Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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