I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
