I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
