well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize