I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
did i just pee glitter
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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