she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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