I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I will pee on everything he values.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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