I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
