i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize