Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
