Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
