I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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