OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's never too late to be topless.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
