She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
