smell my finger.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
