Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
