Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
