Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize