What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize