problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize