Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
