Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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