That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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