PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I need water and some morals
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
