She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
