And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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