Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
