Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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