Whod you bang
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
