I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
