So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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