And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
