All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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