i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
