Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
