Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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