She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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