And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
