Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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