I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
