I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
