the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
