My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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