Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
